17 Crimes Against Beauty All ’90s Girls Committed
1. Ripping your hair out while removing your rubber Conair hot sticks:
And also burning your fingers in the process.
2. Getting used to the smell of your hair burning while using your favorite crimper:
3. Asking for “the Rachel” haircut, but never getting it quite right:
4. Feeling super awkward when Herbal Essences’ orgasmic commercials came on TV and your parents were around:
Also, jokingly re-enacting the commercials with your friends.
5. Having to redo your decorative bobby pin constantly because it refused to stay in place:
6. Or overusing your favorite hair gel to create the perfect spiky-haired look:
7. Feeling like your scalp was being ripped off from all the mini-buns you tied on your head:
:: shrug ::
8. Thinking, “Hey look! A bunch of pastel-colored bugs are holding up my hair!” was a good look:
Who started that trend anyway?!
9. Literally smelling like you’d been rolling around in the grass all day when you sprayed on Gap’s grass scent:
Or like you just mowed the lawn.
10. Or trying to explain what your Crabtree & Evelyn scent actually smelled like to anyone:
“So… it smells like wet flowers?”
11. Dousing yourself and your bedroom in the same Bath and Body Works scents:
“Wow, you smell… just like your room?”
12. Spending more time licking your favorite Lipsmackers flavors off your lips than actually putting them on:
“It’s moisturizing and delicious!”
14. Feeling your eyes burn just a little when you opened your Stridex or Oxy pads container:
That alcohol burn…
15. Getting super pissed-off if you accidentally smudged your Wet Shine nail polished before it finished drying.
17. And finally, looking like a unicorn had just sneezed on you thanks to all that Claire’s body glitter gel:
So. Much. Body. Glitter.