1. When somebody talks about how great their pet is, all you can do is quietly think about how your pet is better.
Sorry I wasn’t listening when you were talking about your dog. I was busy looking in my phone for a picture of my superior dog.
“Yes, Biscuit seems like a great dog… but what about my dog?”.
2. Sometimes you sign off cards to your loved ones as if your pet wrote in it.
3. You constantly remember that you’re working hard so they can enjoy a better life.
4. And you need a picture of them nearby at all times, because you get emotional when you’re separated from them.
5. Your goodbye to your pet is longer and more dramatic than your goodbye to your S.O.
6. You feel wracked with guilt when you come home after petting another animal.
8. You’re constantly looking for an excuse to bring them up to people.
[on 1st date] Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before?
Her: No, I’d love to
Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim
9. Your Snapchat story is solely pictures of your pet with various filters.
Your cat as a dog, your cat with rainbows coming out of its mouth… the possibilities are endless.
10. In your ideal world, you and your pet would be matching at all times.
So the world knows you two are the best of friends.
12. You low-key judge people who don’t seem that interested when they meet your pet.
Why are they not treating your pet like the star it so clearly is?
13. You’d do anything to ensure they’re comfortable, including letting them take up most of your bed.
15. And it’s hard to not buy them everything.
Because you know your pet deserves the world.
16. You remember, and celebrate, the anniversary of the day you got them.
17. As well as their birthday, a day you plan more thoroughly than your own birthday.