1. The time he interrupted a boardroom meeting to presidentially harass contestant Brande Roderick.
2. The time he shilled — presidentially, of course — for Shania Twain’s perfume.
3. The time he outlined his values system, which very presidentially prioritizes self-preservation above honesty.
4. The time he shilled for Crocs, the most presidential plastic clog company on Earth.
5. The time he halted a boardroom meeting to solicit opinions about his hair, demonstrating a truly presidential level of focus.
7. The time he wasn’t afraid to take a bold, presidential stance against exercise.
8. The time he shilled for Crystal Light’s incredibly presidential line of mocktail-flavored drink mixes.
9. The time he very presidentially interrupted pop singer Aubrey O’Day to comment about her appearance.
Presidential bonus points for asking magician Penn Jillette — not Aubrey O’Day or any of the other women in the boardroom — to weigh in on whether or not the comment could reasonably be considered sexist.
10. The time he shilled for Australian Gold’s extraordinarily presidential line of sun-care products.
11. The time he made it super, presidentially clear that nobody out-thinks the Donald — not even real strategic masterminds like Kevin Jonas.
12. The time he shilled for Arby’s, the most presidential of all sandwich companies.
13. The time he reacted to a contestant’s self-deprecating joke in a totally reasonable, presidential manner.
14. The time he very presidentially shilled for sub-prime mortgage lender Ameriquest.
15. The time he presidentially joked about the relative niceness and acceptability of Star Jones’ ass.
16. The time he shilled for the most presidential shaving system of all time: Gillette Fusion.
17. The time he presidentially confessed that he does not understand the impulse to compromise.
Winning is always more presidential than compromising in a mutually beneficial manner — always.