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22 Movies From Your Childhood That Got Absolutely Terrible Reviews

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From the Chicago Times: “Dreadful.”

From Roger Ebert: “Watching the movie is like attending a party you weren’t invited to, and where you don’t know anybody, and they’re all in on a joke but won’t explain it to you.”

From the NY Times: “Apparently too much eye of newt got into the formula for Hocus Pocus, transforming a potentially wicked Bette Midler vehicle into an unholy mess.”

From Roger Ebert: “Is this a children’s movie? I confess I do not know. Millions of kids will go to see it. There used to be movies where it was bad for little kids to hurt grown-ups. Now Kevin bounces bricks off their skulls from the rooftops, and everybody laughs.”

From the Las Vegas Mercury: “So, so bad.”

From the Baltimore Sun: “You feel as if you’re being smothered in cotton candy by a director obsessed with infantility and who cannot bear to face the reality of childhood.”

From Variety: “Very young children may find the numskull, by-the-numbers gags here amusing, but teens will consider this kids’ stuff and adults will be pained.”

From Rolling Stone: “No matter how much cash Hook earns, it will take more than pixie dust to fly this overstuffed package into our dreams.”

From the NY Times: “This film was made very quickly by animation standards, and the haste shows.”

From the Houston Chronicle: “In basketball terms, Space Jam is more akin to the ‘garbage time’ that concludes lopsided games, when reckless playing is no substitute for the real thing.”

From the San Francisco Chronicle: “Do you really want to spend money watching what is essentially marginality, or would those dollars be better used to see a better film or even buy a good book?”

From Rolling Stone: “Get out your pooper-scoopers.”

From Time Out: “An unruly orangutan plus an opulent hotel setting equals a natural disaster, or in this case a kids’ movie.”

From The Desert News: “The Pagemaster’s problems can be easily traced back to the screenplay, which simply lacks anything remotely resembling wit.”

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