1. Americans should not be allowed near food because they do things like this.
5. I understand the appeal of deep frying things. Fried batter is great! But there can be no justification for deep-frying sugar cubes.
7. Corn dogs just seem to be confusing. Is it a sausage? In cake? Are you people putting cake around a sausage? Where does the corn come in?
9. Everything in this sounds nice, but as a whole, what the hell is even happening here?
11. Only a seriously depraved society could come up with Koolickles. Oh yes, that is Kool-Aid soaked pickles. Pickles, brined in Kool-Aid.
15. Only America would come up with a doughnut burger.
IT’S FUCKING GLAZED YOU SICK FUCKS.
16. The KFC double down. Don’t make me explain why a sandwich that uses fried chicken instead of bread is a bad idea.
17. Why are snow-cones a thing? THEY’RE JUST ICE. JUST LITTLE BITS OF ICE.
18. Jerky makes no sense. OK, maybe if you were a cowboy it made sense, but it’s 2016. We sent a probe to Pluto so why are you chewing on dessicated meat?
19. Honestly, chicken and waffles seems weird. But cultural differences – sure, why not? But this is not an OK thing to flavour stuff with.
20. This is a brick. Of fried food. In no world should a ‘brick’ be an acceptable way of serving something.
Bricks are for building, not eating.